she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
