I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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