I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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