I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm too high and old for this...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
