me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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