dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
