My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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