the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
