it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
