apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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