she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
