these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
