I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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