It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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