Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
