you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she pinky promised me she was 18
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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