Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
