theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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