that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize