i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
