So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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