I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
