i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
