Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
