No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
