I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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