Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
