I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Less talking, more tequila
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
