i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
