it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
