you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
