What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
