i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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