oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
