I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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