He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
