he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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