Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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