i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
