Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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