he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
