Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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