my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
