fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
