i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
