U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
