Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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