i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
