It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
