Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
