You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
