yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
