does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
