What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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