I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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