I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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