So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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