I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
