he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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