Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This is the high leading the old right now
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize