My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
