ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
