Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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