at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
nut hugger
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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