We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
