You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
