I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've blown a few things in my day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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