peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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