he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
