Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
