just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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