Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
